A Smile of a Thousand Secrets...

Meanness

2011-04-20T08:16:00.004-05:00

My happy little existence is constantly rocked with this word. Yesterday though I got an awareness of its presence I have never felt before. It was a feeling that drove me straight to the front pew of my church where I knelt before my Lord and mourned.

As the title and description of this blog would indicate, I pretty much try to keep my emotions to myself. If my feelings are hurt, you will rarely know it. (Well, I mean, most of you don't know me, but if you did ;-)....) Anyway, mad can be a different story altogether, but I try my hardest not to let that emotion effect my smile either. A Smile of a Thousand Secrets isn't meant to be a clever blog name... I don't believe in being vulnerable in front of many people. The people that REALLY know me, I can count on one hand, seriously. I decided a long time ago that for the most part people don't really care to hear about your problems except because they're nosy and the people that legitimately DO care eventually earn their way into my (or, as my theory goes, your) circle of trust (I didn't mean that to sound as Meet the Parents as it did);-) I love ALL my friends very much I just understand that they have their own problems and life is hard enough without people unloading their problems on you instead of God where they belong.

Funny thing is I'm about to unload a little, so just know you've been warned! But, it is for the greater good of an actual point. ;-)

Yesterday was a rough day in general. My feelings got hurt and a lack of an apology from the person even when I told them they hurt my feelings, hurt even worse. (I will grant I told them with a smile on my face, but this particular person knows well that I have a hard time with vulnerability). I got in my car at the end of the day completely defeated and SO glad the work day was over... never mind the fact that I left work 15 minutes early to make the day end faster than it wanted to... that's beside the point! ;-) I start to pull away from work and begin my trek home. A terribly parked bus and an oddly angled cross walk left me unaware that a pedestrian had stepped off the sidewalk. (Before you get worried, this isn't an unthinkably horrible story... no worries) I swing wide to go around the bus. I wasn't speeding or anything but I'd say I was doing between 10 & 20 mph around the bus and it wasn't until I was even with the crosswalk that I even saw the girl who had gotten to roughly even with the middle of the bus in her march across the street. This particular pedestrian crossing was lined and she should have had the right of way... but it's hard to give someone you can't see the 'go-ahead'. She was/is a beautiful girl. Blonde, as I recall. I guess I noticed because the actions and the clothing didn't match, but she was wearing a floral button down shirt and a black pencil skirt. Very well dressed and put together, sweet looking person. When I realized the mistake I was making and that there was nothing I could do to right the wrong, I immediately started waving and telling her how sorry I was out my rolled down window as I passed her. She yelled at me. I mean, threw her hands up in the air, and loud enough for me to hear with the radio on, 'IT'S FINE, DON'T EVEN BOTHER STOPPING!!! KEEP ON!!!' My heart broke into a million pieces. If someone that looked so sweet was that cocked and loaded to yell and throw their hands up at someone that was obviously apologizing for their mistake, how much evil is there really in this world?

I don't blame her, I'm guilty of similar crimes. I think that's what broke my heart the most. I saw myself in her. There was no going home happening. I don't think I could have driven home if I tried. Feet and hands were only driving one place, my church parking lot. I had to get away from the feeling of evil and meanness. I needed calm and love, and there is NO greater love than seeing that Man hanging on a cross just so I have the option of heaven and eternal happiness.

I decided in prayer that all the man-made problems of the world can be solved with 6 letters: be nice. Friends, I know as small and easy as it seems, this is one of the hardest things in the entire universe to practice without fail, but God calls us to try our hardest because He loved us. On this Easter Week, let us all challenge ourselves to meditate on the words Jesus spoke at his Last Supper with his disciples: "My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, 'Where I go you cannot come,' so now I say it to you. I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ~John 13: 33-35

In Christ

Hope.

2011-04-14T16:27:00.005-05:00

Hope is a tricky sucker. Have you ever noticed that? Hope can be a happy place, hope can be a sad place, or hope can be a place you go when you don't yet want to face the inevitable. I've been battling this word on a smaller scale for about 4 months but a bit more recently (past week or so) it is really ringing in my head.

Is my hopefulness just rose-colored glasses?

How do I know when it's time to give up hope on this particular situation?

If I'm supposed to give up, is God going to let me know?

Will I have a peace about it?

Romans 8:24-25 speaks pretty highly of the word. "...if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance." Some forms of hope are wonderful and should never be given up on and truthfully it's the hope in Heaven and in Christ that I think Romans is referring to, but it's interesting that this particular word is chosen.

I think when one speaks of hope, the word patience goes hand in hand. In my realization that I'm living in a constant state of hope, the word patience has been echoing through my prayers. I am constantly asking God for patience to endure this particular race I'm running. To me, it's a bit funny that Romans points to endurance as a means to the end. "... wait with endurance." When I think of a time in my life that my endurance was tested, I can't help but think about my first Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I had never done a 5K in my life. I knew I was going to walk it, but 3 miles? Was that something I was capable of? I'm not exactly the skinniest or most fit person in the world, so needless to say I was a bit on the cautiously optimistic side having never done something like that in my life.

The entire race there were people standing on the corner cheering us on... clapping...smiling... singing... truly one of the most motivational hours of my life. Toward the end of the race my best friend (who was walking with me even though she is a runner) and I saw a sign. It was a HUGE poster board with ISAIAH 40:31. It's something I will never forget. When we got home that night we immediately looked it up. "They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles' wings; They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint." Every time I run or walk now, I can't help but think of this verse. It's interesting to me though that its not just physical running... I'm mentally running a race right now and there's that darn word again, hope.

I don't know the answers to my own questions... If I did, they wouldn't be questions, but what I do know is this: ALL things are possible for God and if prayer and patience are my only reprieve from this constant, hopeful, Gordian knot in my stomach, then so be it. ;-)

Let it go.

2010-12-27T14:41:00.002-06:00

{A generic name has been used on purpose, I have no close friends, male or female, named Taylor... he/she will be referred to as a 'he' in this blog post, but may or may not be male.}

For some reason, right now all I can hear in my head are the lyrics to "What a girl wants" by Christina Aguilera where she says, "They say if you love something let it go if it comes back it's yours that's how you know it's for keeps, yeah, it's for sure." You're singing it now, aren't you? ;)

And now you're wondering why I'm singing. Well, I am in the middle of a MAJOR dilemma and I am on the fence about the right direction to fall. Have you ever had a problem like that? There is no question a change needs to happen, but there are multiple options for the road that change could take??

Someone I care about is hurting a lot. I want and need to console him, but I'm not sure if my consolation really helps, really hurts, or somewhere in the middle.
Right about now I'm missing my old college retreat talk titled, "Where do we go from here". If someone could sit me down and talk to me about what comes next, that would be great. Unfortunately life doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you have to do what your brain is telling you is the right thing to do and hope for the best. If I am being honest, and it's a practice I hold strong to... I should let Taylor be. Let him figure it out, make moves in our friendship, come to me if he needs to, talk to me when he needs to, but let it all be on his terms and otherwise leave him to deal with his problems. If I let Taylor go and do the things he needs to do, when it's all over my hope is that our relationship would be much stronger than if I risk everything by trying to help where I'm not wanted or needed. I know it seems like a duh statement. Kind of a, 'well of COURSE that sounds like the right thing to do'... but, there are risks involved. My fear is Taylor will take it as me pulling away. That I am not talking or communicating because I don't care. Which is pretty much the EXACT opposite of the outcome I would be hoping for. Taylor really needs someone right now, but unfortunately I don't think I'm it. I really think I would do more harm than good. His problems and my place in problems like this are completely foreign to me... what is the etiquette??? How do I help??? What can I do, except pray when prayer is all I know how to offer right now? My heart hurts. Really hurts.

God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Lord, Thank you for the gift of my friendships. My thankfulness for the blessings of each of my friends is unspeakable. One of my friends is hurting, my God, and I don't know my place in this situation. I strive daily to let Your Will be done through me. Please give me the patience to help Taylor endure his hardships in the way that You call me to, not in the ways I see fit. Please give him the comfort of Your unending Love and send your angels to be with him in his time of need. Help him to be stronger after each of his hardships in life, especially the one he's enduring now. Thank you for loving each of us and daily bless the people who taught us to Love You. Amen.

A promised post

2010-12-16T11:54:00.005-06:00

Well, it's the day after my birthday and I PROMISED Mrs. Jones I would blog after my birthday, so here I am!!! :) My birthday was yesterday and it was SUPER fun!!! I got LOTS of great stuff!! In the near future you just might find me smelling of Pure White Linen from Estee Lauder, relaxing under the hands of my favorite masseuse in the world, eating chocolate caramel corn, wearing aloe vera socks that are SO soft, reading a book from Barnes and Noble! Like I said... got LOTS of great stuff!!! :) AND to top it all off, I got a DVR from my parents!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

You know what I realized today though, the day after my birthday just might be the saddest day of the year for me! Everyone goes from "Happy Birthday"s and lots of hugs and lovin' to just another day! :( That may make me seem like I like to be the center of attention, which sometimes might be the case, but not really. I'm a quiet person by nature... but you get me around people and I make myself be loud and fun!! :) Anyway so I'm battling a bit of the post-birthday blues.

In other news, Mrs. Jones might kill me, but as you all know I keep it real with the interests in my life on here (save their actual names). I have a new interest that Mrs. Jones has yet to fully approve, with good reason... one of which is NOT that he isn't completely fabulous... just a long story that I don't need to go into. We'll just say it might be a good option in the future but not tomorrow. Moving on... he needs a nickname... I might call him Mr. Fantastic. :) Yep, that's his nickname. :) I have been advised by my lovely friend that I need to stop thinking about him and let him pursue. I have never found such good and sound advice so hard to follow in my entire life!! I see this person... a lot. We talk... semi-daily... face to face. He has a REALLY cute face. :) And she wonders why I talk about him all the time!! She's seen his face... nevermind the fact that you have a husband, Mrs. Jones... he's SO CUTE, right? Mr. Fantastic has been a fantastic person from Day 1 of our friendship and I've known him about 3 years!!! It's really hard to think his seeming pursuits haven't been just that, but I have to find a way to convince myself they weren't what they felt like until a few things change and I see that he still feels the way he seems to feel now. It's the only logical thing to do. I KNOW, but I don't FEEL. I wish I could turn off emotions and just go on the KNOWLEDGE. Stupid estrogen.

New Year's Resolutions and My Bucket List

2010-11-23T16:04:00.004-06:00

Well, I know it's been September since I last posted!! ... and I'm pretty sure in September I promised pictures of Halloween decorations. Well, that didn't happen but I promise Halloween decorations did go up in my office and did look pretty cute (and I AM saying so myself!) ;)

I can't believe it's Birthday and Christmas time already!!! I don't normally get into the decorating aspects of Christmas, but this year I'm making an exception in my office. I have a small tree and other fun Christmassy decor! I will TRYYYY to put pictures up, but to tell you the truth, I'm not just dead sure where my camera or battery charger is... hmmmm Christmas gift to self??? ;)

Back to Jack.

I decided to do a New Year's resolution this year. I'm not usually inclined to resolute much, mainly because I can't think of things that would be good to resolve? (What is the base word for resolution?) ;) Anyway, this year I'm planning to make appointments for and go to all necessary doctors this year!! I NEVER go to the doctor like I should, but this year will be different. The Dentist and Eye Doctor have never been much of a problem for me... now, girly docs and internal medicine docs are COMPLETELY different stories!

So, here we go:
Feb 3 @ 4:00 I will be with Dr. Corley my lovely wonderful eye doctor. She's good, real good and will be sporting new glasses. I'm a contact wearer, so my glasses prescription is about 5+ years older than my actual prescription. oops.
Feb 23 @ Noon I will be with Rachel the hygenist and Dr. Taylor (my cutie patootie dentist) getting my pearly whites cleaned. We like them too!
June 16 @ 2:00 blegh, Dr. Rosensteil... We have a love/hate relationship... it's amazing how much you can love someone but absolutely HATE to go see them!
I also need to get in to see my Internal Medicine Doc sometime before June 16 or Dr. Rosensteil is going to yell at me (not really) and in Feb I have to get Dr. Taylor to refer me to a surgeon to get my wisdom teeth taken out!! ugh. It's funny that the appointments I really don't have a problem going to are the one's I've already made and the one's I am dreading I have yet to get on the books!!! Funny how that works! :)

Now... my Bucket List.
The other day, I watched The Bucket List. Loved it and it got me to thinking about making one of my own... so here's my start!!

Spend a week in Tahiti

Drive to California

Kiss the Pope’s ring

Visit the San Diego Zoo

Own a tanzanite ring

Eat Sprinkles Cupcakes

Be an integral part of someone’s conversion story

Visit Oregon (again)

Ride Kingda Ka in Six Flags Great Adventure, the tallest roller coaster in the world
and the fastest in the US.

Shop in Florence and have pizza at Da Michele in Naples, Italy

Marry someone I adore

Find the recipe for some sugar cookies from my childhood

Adopt a child (this one's still up for debate)

Decorate an entire house from top to bottom

~~Be someone’s confirmation sponsor~~

Own a black diamond ring

~~Spend a week at the beach by myself~~

Go on a $1000 shopping spree

Take a picture with Mickey Mouse in all four parks of Disney World

Buy myself a piece of Alabama art each year.

Perform on stage (preferably comedy)

Learn how to sew

Build something all by myself

Learn sign language

Be there for one of Ellen DeGeneres’s 12 Days of Giveaways

Take a cruise around the Mediterranean that includes Greece and Italy

I'm sure I'll add to it, but that's what I have so far!! We'll see how much I actually get to do! :)

Eeeeeeek!!

2010-09-27T10:41:00.011-05:00

Halloween is almost here!!!! I can't WAIT!!! A lot of people say this but you have no idea how much I love OCTOBER!! Everything good happens in October. It is by leaps and bounds the month of the year that I endure all the other ones for!! I love everything about it. The weather, the attitude, the decorations, the holidays, the celebrations, the television, the football. There really isn't anything about this month I don't like!!! I'm always in a good mood in October. :)
That being said I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I'm having figuring out how to decorate my office!! I'm known to go big where Halloween decorations are concerned... it's so much fun!!! Here's what my office looked like last year.

...Plus my crazy co-workers on a particularly cold day.

I really didn't do very much last year... In years past there were cobwebs strung from the ceiling. :)

This year will be different... here's some of my inspiration!!
CUTE CUTE CUTE c/o Jodie of Jennifer, Jamie, and Jodie @ eighteen25
FABULOUS way to repurpose my pumpkins from last year... found some wonderful napkins at Tuesday Morning already!! c/o Heather @ The Other White House
LO-VING these little pumpkins from HL on a wreath... Fall decor 50% off this week... yes please!! c/o The Women from Uncommon

...And last but CERTAINLY not least... this little gem!!
... I'm thinking those little pumpkins will go PERFECTLY here!! :) c/o Linda @ Craftaholics Anonymous

Along with the damask napkins I bought some other fun ones that I'm still trying to decide where I'll be modge podging those... but I couldn't pass them up! I also got some apothecary jars!!! I have been dying to have some for as long as I can remember!!! I couldn't believe I got three for $15! I was so thrilled! I love Tuesday Morning!! :)

On a more personal note... The Smile of a Thousand Secrets family grew by two this weekend!!! I don't talk much about my dog... but he's part of my family too... so I guess I'll introduce him first...

This is my sweet boy. He's 3 and I love him more than words...

Now for my newest additions...
Yes, there are two... count um two babies there!! :) It was a good weekend! :)

Hangin' Tough.

2010-09-13T13:30:00.004-05:00

I just got home off a SOLID week long vacation!! It was AMAZING and literally the first time in my entire life I spent that long at the beach!! For about half the trip I was by myself, which has gotten me some funny looks, but it was AMAZING!!! It gave me some much needed quiet time and I spent the entire week without facebook and I have to say I ADORED life without it!!! In a non-fb world I knew who WANTED to know what was going on with me because they ASKED and CALLED! I didn't have to read every single little detail about other people's lives that I frankly don't give a HOOT about! AND I wasn't tempted to tell things that people don't give a hoot about! I highly recommend vacations from technology overkill.
Needless to say it was a welcomed break and I can assure all my friends and family that you will be around a much happier person now that I finally got some alone time!!
One thing I realized in the silence of my solitary bliss was, life is tough. Let me be the first to tell you. If I ever had any desire for reincarnation; as I start rounding out my 20s, any underlying desire there might have been to come back to this world once I get through it is GONE! After almost 27 years I can honestly say, I have no desire to do any of it again... so far. Is that sad? That's not to say I don't enjoy my friendships and the wonderful people that have been in my life because I dearly love each and every one of them. It's also not to say I don't trust God to get me through the hard times and continue smiling just to piss the devil off. I just don't think I'm going to squeal into heaven yelling, "AGAIN, AGAIN!!!" Just keepin' it real. Who knows?... I'm aware life can change in an instant and come January, life may take some huge, WELCOMED turn... but until then... In my heaven there will be no leaving once you're in, we will have week long vacations, and no facebook. ;)

By George... I think I've got it!!

2010-09-03T11:13:00.004-05:00

My idiocity amazes me sometimes. (I made up that word long ago... that and patheticity... they are now ingrained in my vocabulary and you can't change me. Plus, they're totally good words.) Anyway. I am an idiot!! I was walking down the hall today thinking about George... HUGE Surprise there (Read more here and here and here) ...and I realized I think he knows!! That's really the only way to explain the way he acts. Every single solitary time I manage to get him to the friend category and keep him there he weasels his way back into my heart. I honestly think it's a subconscious thing. I think he just enjoys the attention he gets when I like him. I really wish someone could be an outside observer on this situation because I think you would be amazed. We talk, we laugh, we pick at each other, we argue... two people could not be more perfect for each other. But... all the reading I've done on the subject tells me it's truly a hopeless case. I know this... and I honestly believe in the facts that I know. I do. That isn't to say I understand why... but I do know.
Moving on... I'm going to the BEACH!!!!!!!!!!! I could NOT be more excited!!! Be there for a whole week which is something I have never done before!!! No, I have never gone to the beach for an entire week in the summer, as crazy as that sounds. I have good movies in case it rains, plans to get a massage, shopping time, magazines and books for the beach AND I will be watching my beloved Crimson Tide roll on to victory!!!
I hope your weekend is as amazing as my whole week's gonna be!!!!

Okay okay okay.

2010-08-09T10:06:00.005-05:00

Don't hate me. Okay, you can hate me a little bit, but then you have to get over it because to be fair I have actually written two other blog posts besides this one and just never posted them, so it is NOT because I haven't been thinking about y'all OR writing run-on sentences like a champ! ;)

Life is busy and there's nothing I can do about it!!!! I am EXACTLY 19 days from the last wedding I have to be in for a WHILE... THANK. YOU. LORD. I couldn't be more thrilled for the couples themselves, but this perpetual bridesmaid needs a break before she ACTUALLY takes on Katherine Heigl for most bridesmaid dresses or turns into something that resembles Gizmo if you let him eat after midnight. (If you don't get that reference, we can't be friends) I'm exhausted and all this love in the air just makes me wish for my this. (a beautiful blog post from my beautiful friend Mrs. Jones @ A Real Life Wife)
I'm good though! I'm busy all the time as you could probably guess from all the wedding festivities and life is definitely gearing up to bring some good opportunities, so we'll see what happens, but I'm still smiling! ;)

I'm sure you hate hearing about the life and times of A Smile of a Thousand Secrets, but there seems to be another nickname candidate brewin'. There was actually one in the lull of nonblogging too, but we'll just call him Richie Rich. He was the type with money that liked to talk about money and cared more about his toys than people. I could have given a shit about his money and it only took him disappointing me once because he was too worried about impressing someone else for me to realize that was too much for me to handle. I really know how to pick um. Anyway, NonNickname will probably remain NonNickname as 1) I don't have the energy to pick a nickname for someone I really don't have a history at all with and 2) I'm about 85% sure at this point I will never actually hear from him again. But, nonetheless he does bring up a wonderful blog topic. MEN.

There are in this world those girls that ACTUALLY have all guy friends. They're usually tom boys and when they say all their friends are guys, they're serious. I have personally never known one of these women as they are usually hanging out with skaters, rock bands, bmx riders, or race car drivers and I have no interest. There are also the women that have a few guy friends and are still the dramatic girly type, but think they aren't. This is the most dangerous. More than likely the guy friends she has like her around because she's pretty to look at and she's usually a tag-a-long instead of actually being one of the first people called when the "guys get together". Then there's the women that haven't ever thought about it. And then there's me. I don't really claim that all my friends are guys (cause they're not) and I don't try to tag along all the time with my friends that are guys. If they want me around, they'll call or text or grunt accordingly. And although there are times they do call me to hang out and I cherish my time with them, if I get treated like "one of the guys" I usually end up with my feelings hurt although I've learned they probably didn't mean what I "heard".

I absolutely adore the men in my life and have taken the time to learn a lot from them. I find men and the way they think and operate fascinating. seriously. They make me smile when I need to smile and grow a set when I need to man up and look at things SUPER objectively when I need a reality check. But, here's the most important thing I have ever learned from my guys. It isn't rocket science, because although they can be brilliant thinkers and doers, when it comes to life things "simple" is a real man's middle name. The single most important thing I have learned is when a guy cares about something... it is BLATANTLY obvious.

If more women would take the time to understand this concept there would be a lot less misunderstanding of men by women and a lot less "mixed signals". Nine times out of ten if a girl gives me the scenario of a guys alleged mixed signals I can tell her EXACTLY what's happening. Now, where does NonNickname come into play in all of this man talk. Our dear friend NonNickname has given us a perfect real life, very recent example of what I'm talking about. Lets say you meet a guy in a bar. Lets say he's not exactly a stranger... friends know him, but you've never met before. Lets say he seems interested and is giving all the signals of that he's diggin' you. Lets say you spend the whole evening talking and laughing and he walks you to your car at the end of the night. Lets say he even gets your number and you get his. He is concerned that you got home safely and tells you he wants to see you again... but then, "You may have to call me cause I'm busy a lot. I'd like to see you again but the ball is gonna have to be in both our courts on this one." BAM, mixed signal!! Many women would question themselves a thousand times over about what this meant and if she should wait for his call... luckily I am armed with my knowledge. Ladies, if the boy wants to go out with you, talk to you, see you again.... HE WILL FIND A WAY!!!!!!!!! I just chuckled and said, "No worries, we'll figure it out." because you know what? I have. ;) There will be no sitting around my house for days watching my phone or sulking to my friends about why he isn't calling... if he calls, nice surprise, but you will not catch me holding my breath.
I could seriously write a book about all these people, but I'll probably just submit stories to the book my friend, Megan is planning to write. For now, I'll enjoy the laughs this stuff brings because it will NOT be in my heaven!! ;)

The Comeback

2010-05-27T11:05:00.004-05:00

I have been away for a WHILE!!!!!! I'm so sorry and I'll try to do better! A friend asked me why the other day and she understood, because she knows me... but my answer was I was 'just over it for a while'... not unusual. HOWEVER! I'm back!! :)

While I was away I rarely checked my friends' blog updates either... when I'm over something.. I'm OVER it!! But, the other day I got caught up and in that catching realized I had received a BLOG AWARD!!! Never got one of those before! :) How exciting!!!

Look how pretty:

:)

So, now I have to follow the rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award and link back to their blog.
THANKS LEAH!!!!!!!! People, Leah over @ My Life in New England is quite possibly one of the most beautiful souls I know!! Yes, that's her on her wedding day in the first picture on her site and she is MORE beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside, as impossible as that seems!! She is truly one of those rare friendships that you know will last a lifetime! Our friendship takes effort as she moved to Boston about 3 or 4 months after we became friends! WHAT THE HELL? :) I had the pleasure of visiting her and her husband (also a great friend) in January and I'm PRAYING for the money to do it again... maybe end of October?? -ish? Leah, Whatcha think? ;)

2. Pass the award on to 7 other bloggers who have a beautiful blog.
I'm with Leah, 7 isn't happening... how about one? Everyone else that I know that's beautiful already got the award... redundancy is annoying ;) Those unmentioned.. you know I think you're beautiful too!!!

Brooke @ The Pocket Review is the closest thing to a big sister I have ever had. When I'm out of line, she tells me... when I need to vent about things she understands, she's there to listen and offer advice. I spent days in my youth getting on her damn nerves and as I grew up, even though she has been in L.A. and NYC most of that time, our friendship has grown!! I love her just as much as any of you little sisters out there love your siblings. She is by far the most hilarious woman I know and her blog definitely showcases that humor perfectly. She is beautiful and so is her blog!! :)

3. Notify each blogger of their nomination.

4. Write 7 things about yourself.

* I Love Halloween! I know I'm super Catholic and that screams pagan holiday, but it's my favorite and you'll have to get over it.
* My favorite place to be in the whole world is on the water... in a boat, on a pier, jetski, swimming in general... all acceptable. I would literally live on a house boat if I could.
* I joke about it a lot but I am REALLY not sure I'm cut out for kids... shocker of all shockers but I'm serious.
* I have a LOT of pet peeves. [See: Why I'm not cut out for kids] I get annoyed really easily at things and I've tried to get over it... I can't.
* I want a kitten. I want it to be a "him". I want him to be white. And I want to name him Thomas A. Sexton the Second. Great thought has gone into this.
* I Love Tuscaloosa, but I'm... not so secretly anymore I suppose, ready to get the hell out of here. My preference would be South Alabama... water.
* If I get mad about something I am completely readable... you will know when I'm pissed. This is not to be confused with my ability to hide sadness as I am a champ at hiding that.

Getting a blog award is kind of fun!! :) Thanks again Leah!!! ;)

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel

2010-02-18T10:00:00.004-06:00

Yesterday during my lunch hour I went to Mass for Ash Wednesday services. I can't tell you how much joy I get out of seeing so many new faces in the pews, even for a day!! As I was sitting there a few things struck me. First of all I thought about how my blog could capture my Lenten journey and then I reflected strongly on what the priest and deacon were saying during the imposition of ashes.

So, here's what I came up with on the blog front. All during Lent, because I will be attending Mass daily, my plan is to start at the beginning of mass and daily reflect on the words we say in the mass each week. I will take a sliver of the mass a day, research it, and talk about why we say it and what we're really saying until I get to the end of the mass. I think this will be good for me in my own faith to keep the prayers we say weekly from being second nature and should be completely do-able in 40 days and also it will be nice to have somewhere to refer people when asked why we are so structured and why we say the things we say in a Mass. I have said before, if I wasn't Catholic and didn't know what we were saying and why we were saying it, there are times I could totally see someone being freaked out!! Just trying to keep it real... if you're Protestant and step into a Catholic Parish sometime... it might be a culture shock! :) No worries... enter my idea for Lent! :)

As far and my reflection on Ash Wednesday Mass goes the words spoken by the imposer of ashes: "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel" are SO powerful. "Turn away from sin." That's a pretty hard concept in itself. Is it really possible for us to completely turn away from sin? We are surrounded by it constantly and God knows that... fortunately for us we have the Holy Spirit guiding us through life and the Father's forgiveness of our sins when we do forget to turn away from them. These words are the reminder that we are called to turn our back on our sinful nature and follow Christ, which is reiterated with "and be faithful to the Gospel." I realize here it's talking about the Gospel of the Lord as a whole, but when I hear this I can't help but reflect on the actual Gospel reading from today: Matthew 6:1-18. At face value it seems that this Gospel reading seems vaguely contradictory to Catholic practice of wearing ashes on our forehead as a sign of our faith today. But listening to the Homily and reflecting on my own, I understand that we are wearing the ashes for ourselves today. Personally I think of them as an opportunity to talk about my faith. A conversation starter in situations where a conversation like that would never come up. Ash Wednesday morning I get up, wash my face, and my forehead is anointed with ashes... and personally I take St. Paul's stance as a perfect argument to anyone that says I'm wrong for not wiping my ashes off. In 2Corinthians 11:30 he says; "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." and my ashes on Ash Wednesday do just that... remind me and others that we, even in our weakness and sinful natures should strive daily to "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel."
How was your Ash Wednesday?
Blessings!

P.S. I absolutely LOVE The Catholic Channel!! I listen to The Catholic Guy (sadly for only an hour, darn work) every day!!! After writing this blog I was listening to the show on my way home from work and they had Mark Hart, The Bible Geek on the show yesterday talking about Ash Wednesday and they covered the issue of Catholics putting the ashes on our foreheads and honestly a lot of it lined up with what I said above. Mark talked about the times when the Bible was written that it was common for the hypocrites to go without bathing and making a huge deal out of fasting to draw attention to their sacrifice and to themselves. We as modern day Catholics wake up and wash our faces and dress properly on Ash Wednesday. Our mark of dirty ashes on our clean faces should serve as a symbol that we recognize ourselves as sinful.

EDIT: I know I didn't follow through with the promise for Mass explanations and I am sorry for that, but as I prayed about it more I realized I just needed to take a step back from my blog for Lent... It made a world of difference and I hope you all had a fabulous Lent too!!! Maybe the Mass explanations will come next year... or just be something I do every once in a while. I will definitely do it eventually! PROMISE!!

Ash Wednesday.

2010-02-17T10:17:00.003-06:00

It's LENT everyone!!!!! I'm so excited to be starting this 40 day season of anticipation and preparation!!! I absolutely LOVE how many people get on board with The Church during this time!! It's amazing to see so many non-Catholic believers share in such a special season for us! For so many years I didn't really understand the reason for the season. I just went along with everyone else and got the ashes on my forehead on Ash Wednesday and knew that for 40 days (excluding Sundays) from that day I couldn't eat chocolate, eat sweets, drink caffeine, or whatever I decided to "give up" that year. Some years were easier that others but I never got anything but a caffeine headache out of it. I never realized that my choice to sacrifice was supposed to be a reflection on the ultimate sacrifice the Lamb of God paid for my sins. It was really from the moment I realized that on, I never "gave up" something trivial like cookies or candy again. I don't think I will ever understand how giving up chocolate is going to get a point across to me of the pain and suffering Jesus endured for my salvation. The best way for me to see the sacrifice is to sacrifice time I spend watching television or sleeping or playing on the computer and use that time to focus on the cross... force myself to study his wounds, to daily put myself at his feet thanking him for dying to save my soul. Fortunately for me, The Church makes every opportunity for me to do this year round... not just during the 40 days before Easter. Every single day in Tuscaloosa alone Mass is said at least twice!! :) During this season of Lent, my promise is to attend Mass or a Communion Service every single day. My hope is that I go into the Easter season with a renewed respect for Jesus' sacrifice of his human existence.
Happy Lent everyone!! I hope you all have a fantastic Ash Wednesday!! I will probably spend most of my blog time on matters of faith for a while. I feel sure the Holy Spirit will give me plenty to reflect on!! ;)
Blessings!

Trashy Television Tuesday!!

2010-02-09T08:41:00.004-06:00

It's TUESDAY!!!! Time to talk about The Bachelor! And I might get into some Grey's. ;)

WHOA!! Viewers were SHOCKED to learn last night that Ali is leaving The Bachelor because work gave her an ultimatum: Us or him. There really are two sides to this argument... being completely objective. On the one hand, if work is to the point that they're making her choose between her job and staying on the show, my guess is they're pretty pissed already. The way I see it there is a DISTINCT possibility that if she goes back, she might lose her job anyway or want to quit because everyone is pissed at her. HOWEVER, big however here. Personally, as crazy as it sounds I think she made the right decision to leave. It should be noted here that Ali is by far my favorite although I think Tenley is a better match for Jake. Anyway, as crazy as it sounds it seemed to me like the right decision for Ali for the sheer fact that in their conversation when she was telling him she was leaving she said she "had everything except him before she came here." Why would ANYONE in their right mind give up friends, a city, and a job they love on a 1 in 4 chance a guy is in love with you... that means there's a 75% chance that she is going to leave there with NOTHING!! I'm sorry, but if one Dr. told me he had a method of saving my life that was 25% accurate and another that said 75%... I'm going with #2. Heck... even 66/33... I'm going with 66. The way I see it, if it's meant to be and if he loves her, he won't pick another girl. Bottom line.

One thing that really got to me about the show this week was I REALLY wish Jake would have given Ali her rose and only given out two roses at the ceremony. I realize for TV's sake he couldn't do that simply because ABC wouldn't let him, but he told Ali she wasn't on the chopping block this week. That means someone (ahem Vienna cough cough) is GOING ON ALI'S OVERNIGHT DATE NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!! That.isn't. right. and truthfully I also wish Jake would have told them that Ali wasn't going to be cut even if he did give out all three roses... think it would have made a dramatic effect AND kept all three of them on their toes!! ABC should hire me! ;)

Why am I so opinionated about a stinkin reality show?? Oh well, I LOVE IT! :)

The only real thing I had to say about Grey's is... was anyone else annoyed out of their mind that Richard wouldn't sign the gosh darn papers and get the heck out?!?! He annoyed me. Every time they showed him I said, "GET OUT!" out loud at the TV. Okay, maybe two things... that woman that wouldn't let Bailey touch her is stupid. period.

That's all for Trashy Tuesday this week... apparently talking about this stuff is only fun to me because no one seems to be commenting... but I'm going to keep talking about it anyway. ;) So, do you think Ali made the right decision to leave The Bachelor?!?! Lemme know what you think!!!

In other news: 2.4 more pounds lost this week!!!! :) 5.6 in 2 weeks!! :) WOO!

Day 3 and Bachelor Talk on Trashy Television Tuesday

2010-02-02T16:17:00.005-06:00

Day 3 of my 60 day challenge is going SUPER!!! Maybe I pull your attention to my Weight Loss Log to the left for just a second?... I'll wait.

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YAY, right?!?!?! -3.2lbs in a week works for me!!! Seems like once you start making an effort to get things going in a positive direction, everything seems to follow!! I had one of the best days I've had in a WHILE yesterday and my hope is it just keeps going up from here!!!!

I think I've decided that on Tuesdays I'm going to talk about my favorite Trashy Television shows! :) So many people have days dedicated to things in the blog world, but I wanted something different... so this is what we're doing around here on Tuesdays! ;) Comment and send a link to your post talking about your favorite Trashy Television!! :)

I don't know if I'm the only one, but I can't help but love to watch The Bachelor!! Am I alone?? Maybe, but I don't care! That show is full of so much female drama it makes my week every time I watch it!! Jake is a crazy person if he picks Vienna, who seems to think that marriage is "like two 16 year olds that can't get enough of each other." Girly, I'm not even married but I know that is NEVER how it's going to be! Grow up. My favorite girl is Ali, but honestly I think the best match for Jake is Tenley. Actually, I think the best pick for Jake is ME, but that's not going to happen! As soon as he stepped out of the limo to meet Jillian I thought he needed to turn around, get back in the car and drive to Alabama! :) Huge fan of this show and have been since it STARTED!! I can remember a whole room full of girls piling up in beds in my Freshman dorm in college! I distinctly remember the whole room erupting when Trista Rehn picked Ryan!! I had him pegged as the person she was going to be with from the moment HE stepped out of the limo too!! (not kidding) Memories! :)

I'd love to hear your opinions about The Bachelor or you other Trashy Television!! ;)

16.

2010-02-01T12:30:00.004-06:00

Have you ever experienced a moment when all the stars aligned to bring back a feeling... a memory if you will, but mostly it's the feeling you remember so vividly. I know "stars aligning" is very secular and I am FAR from the secular type, but that's the easiest way to put it... and the stars' alignment is from God right?? We're gonna go with it.

Today I was coming back to work after running some errands during my lunch break and I suddenly had the same feeling I had the day I was 16 (and two months) and I drove in the car BY MYSELF for the first time! It is one of those times in life you will never forget and I just remember the independence and freedom that completely enveloped me.

I remember thinking, "Where do I want to go first?!?! Do I even have anywhere TO go?? Oh, well...I can listen to ANY radio station I want, I can go ~~anywhere I want~~ ALMOST anywhere I want!!!" (I WAS only 16.) It was the greatest feeling I'd had so far in life.

I experience this 16 year old moment again every once in a while, but it usually only lasts a few seconds and then it's gone... but this one wasn't passing. I couldn't figure out what was different about this day, a full DECADE after the fact, why was the feeling lingering so much? I loved it, don't get me wrong, but I was curious.

So I started thinking about the actual day: February 5th or 6th something like that, I can't remember the exact day (WOW, that's really close to today, huh). Year:2000 (I turned 16 in December '99, but waited two months to get my license.) I remember it being a BEAUTIFUL day outside, much like today... enough that both that day 10 years ago and today my windows were down and my music was turned up. Then my brain clued in to the song that was on the radio. This song came out in 1999 and would have been on the radio that day in February, 2000. It all made perfect sense. The date, the weather, the breeze through the window, the music on the radio... all exactly the same. It was received as a blessing from God, a reminder that no matter how old I feel like I'm getting, I'm never too old to feel 16 again!! :)
It's gonna be a WONDERFUL DAY!!! :)

7 Quick Takes Friday

2010-01-29T09:43:00.008-06:00

{1}

Whelp, this is the first time I'm doing 7 Quick Takes, so we'll see how it goes! I will continue to tell myself I'll get better at something if I keep trying! :)

{2}

Started a new plan to lose weight this week. As you can see I've manned up and will be documenting the loss... er... loss is the plan, to the left. As I said here, please don't judge me for what it is right now, because it won't be that way long! Promise!

{3}

I was reminded this week just how unpleasant Halitosis can be. God Bless him, he really needs to go get that seen about.

{4}

96 oz. of water a day = bathroom.

{5}

Last night I went to drinks with my boot camp instructor and a fellow camper. (don't fall out of your chair, you CAN be friends with your boot camp instructor!) I had to drop out of camp in December because of some ongoing health issues which have required a few surgeries. I explained the whole long drawn out story to them last night and needless to say, they understood, but still can't wait for my return!! Seriously though, check out an Adventure Boot Camp near you, I HIGHLY recommend!!! (I am not getting paid to say that!)

{6}

I am very willing to admit, nothing has the power to turn my mood around like Disney Music. I ordered Classic Disney Volume:1 a few weeks ago and I gotta say, I am wearing that thing OUT!!

{7}

I still have a Post-it note from when Jennifer mentioned Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To here!! ("There is no link attached to the 'here'," you say.) You wanna know why?! Because it's been so long I don't even know where the post she wrote is anymore!! I have gotta get on it and go get that book!!! Right now I'm re-reading Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life's Lessons and Everyday Spirituality. If you don't know who Mother Angelica is: 1)Start watching EWTN, you'll learn real quick like. 2)This book will definitely get you caught up on her personality! Lady don't play around!! I am blessed to live about an hour away from EWTN and just a little farther from the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament. :) Go get this book, it's great!!

Linked up to: Conversion Diary's 7 Quick Takes Friday

25 bucks.

2010-01-27T12:28:00.007-06:00

Technically my 60 day challenge doesn't start until January 31, but as you can see from yesterday's post, I kind of started a little earlier with the eating part! As soon as I feel like this is actually working I'll reveal what I'm using... but I'm not promoting something that doesn't work!! Anyway, eating is going well. At first I thought that 96oz. of water a day was going to be impossible, but dum da na na Crystal Light to the rescue!! This stuff is SO good and I drank 32 of the 96oz. in 1 hour today! [cue my bladder exploding] Needless to say I think this isn't gonna be so bad... I just have to stick to it!!

Moving on.

Made a few awesome purchases lately and wanted to share!!
Every once in a while I go wandering around the AMAZING Dollar Tree we have in town. It's right next to TJMaxx which makes my life exponentially better!! Anyway, I was roaming through the aisles looking for God only knows what and these 4 things are what I found!!The two fleur-de-lis tchotchkes would be no TELLING how much at a home decor store and I can just imagine them painted white with distressed edges!! The stars and stripes basket and tulip felt mat will go perfect somewhere in office decor for 4th of July and Easter!! :) Because it's the Dollar Tree we all know I paid around $4.00 for all four!!

I went to see my mom's hair guy the other day. Sometimes I just like to try someone new... make sure I'm not getting in a hair rut! He also happens to be an artist. (who knew?) Being the art fanatic I am, I was sitting there with my hair dripping wet waiting for him after the shampoo girl was done and happened to ask her who had their art displayed in there and she said it was JOHNNY!! WOW! He's good! Anyway, along with the art there were a few pottery and nick nacky things and there was a table that everything was 10 bucks!! And THIS beauty just had to come home with me!!!She currently resides in my office at work in a grouping of pictures, but eventually I see her in the middle of my dining room table with peacock feathers sticking out of her!!! ;)

Stopped by Ulta yesterday to pick up a few essentials because I had about $13 left on a gift card. I swear by these three products!!CHI Volume Booster spray, Clean & Clear Morning Glow Moisturizer, and Neutrogena Deep Clean Facial Cleanser will all three be in my heaven!!! Yum. Anyway, CHI products tend to be on the expensive side, but guess who's having a sale right now!! ULTA!!! I got all three things for around $20... with my gift card I only ended up paying $7!!! :)

Add all three finds up... throw in a little tax and you're looking at some REALLY fun stuff for under $25!! I'm probably most excited about the Black Pottery!!! It is GORGEOUS in person and heavy as LEAD!! I can't wait to play with it!! :)

Promise

2010-01-26T13:05:00.004-06:00

I try not to break promises... even when I kind of want to. It's taking every piece of me to do this, but I posted my start weight to the left!! AH! Please don't judge me for what it is because it certainly won't be that way long if I can help it. The program I'm using is pretty strenuous but it's set so you see results fast. The goal is to get the weight off and then learn how to maintain. Different programs work for different people, but when I really started thinking about using a program I wasn't confident this particular type would work for me. However, I had tried programs that taught you better habits from the beginning and I knew that didn't work at all with my personality. Not knocking it, just saying I tried the same program twice (not naming names because it's a wonderful program for some)it just wasn't for me. I started examining the type of person I am and it all hit me at once that this is EXACTLY the program for me!!! My personality type is sort of extremist... what I mean by that is if I'm cold, I don't turn on the heat to 71 when it was on 69... I turn it to 85 and then burn up. I want to see or feel results happening as soon as I make the change. I don't know if it's a character flaw or just something that makes me, me... but that's how it is! When it comes to losing weight I just don't see trying to make a personality change and a weight change at the same time, so for now I'm playing into this trait, even if I decide to change the extremist part of me one day!! :)
Enough about weight!! Tomorrow come by for an update on some of the cute stuff I've gotten recently for under $25 TOTAL!!!! :)

Mardi Gras

2010-01-24T15:14:00.017-06:00

I love Mardi Gras!! Specifically Mobile, Alabama's version. Every year I go to the Mystics of Time parade and ball and have a BLAST!! I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day in the LEAST, so I usually use Mardi Gras as my excuse to skip Valentine's decorations altogether and this year, MOT weekend is also Valentine's weekend, so my life is made easier!! ;) I decided my office needed a little Mardi Gras spirit, so I set out to make a Mardi Gras wreath for my door!! ;)
Here's what I came up with:

...And the "How To" on making a cute, fun Mardi Gras wreath!!I went and bought an 18" Hay Wreath... $3.99 at Michael's (tip: they cost the same at Hobby Lobby)... and hand drew a spiral around the wreath with a Sharpie. Doing this helped me know where to put things without having to place everything before I glued.

I went through our stash of beads from Mardi Gras last year (yes, there can be a constructive purpose for Mardi Gras beads.. go figure!?) and picked out all the cute purple, gold, and green beads. I also made a trip to Hobby Lobby (quite possibly my favorite store in the world) and picked up a few extras I thought might be a cute addition. Fortunately I get to make a return because as you see I didn't use the crown or the mask!! WOO! The boa cost $6.99 but was on sale for 50%off (gotta love those Hobby Lobby sales) so my total cost was only going to be about $8!! Unfortunately I broke down and opened the 3 pack of "Happy Mardi Gras" hangers because it needed that something extra (totally worth it for the outcome), they were $4.99. Grand total on this 18" Mardi Gras wreath $13... not too shabby. I digress.

I started out cutting a strand of large purple beads into 5 strands of 10 beads each and glued them in the space between the black template lines I drew.

When those were dry I cut 5 strands of 25 slightly smaller green beads and wove them through every second purple bead gluing as a went.

I quickly realized I had empty space on the opposite side where each green strand was glued so I cut strands of 3 gold beads the same size as the green and glued them on the opposite side of the green weaving.

If I'm keeping it real, this is what the air conditioner behind my desk looked like for two days because I had meetings after work every day and didn't get a chance to work on it.

In the few days I didn't work on it but still had to look at the unfinished product on my desk I got a few more ideas what I would like to do. I took some dice beads and cut them in strands (I have no idea how long.. just measured) and alternated colors around both sides of the beads I had already glued.

I also had no clue what I was going to do with these, but I knew I didn't want to use them in the strands so I cut the masks away from the rest of the bead and knew I'd use them somewhere.

After I'd gotten the dice glued down I replaced the boa over the black line where I thought I wanted it and realize I needed a few more beads or the hay on either side of the boa was going to show, but I didn't have enough of the same bead to make another loop on either side of the ones I'd already placed. So, I had to think outside the box a bit... I cut the boa into 10 equal strips (sorry, no picture of that one)

I had some Emerald shaped beads and cut them to single pieces to go with my masks.

I alternated the emerald shaped and mask beads along the black line then glued the 10 boa pieces in the open spaces...

I LOVE how it turned out!!! I used a long strand of gold beads as my hanger, hung the purple "Happy Mardi Gras" from the gold beads as well and put some loose feathers that fell out of the boa up top to cover up the nail! My coworkers are gonna LOVE it! And since my office is at the end of the hall they're gonna see it every time they walk in!! ;)

Linked up to: DIY Day! and Get Your Craft On!

60 days.

2010-01-22T15:27:00.002-06:00

Scientific research has proven that it takes somewhere between 30 and 45 days for someone to change something... whether that something be a habit they're trying to lose or a lifestyle they're trying to gain. The past few days I've been pondering just how long that is and the more I think about it... it doesn't seem so long. I'm the stubborn type so my guess is it's going to take about 60 days for me! ;) I have three weddings to be in this summer: Amanda and Kevin, two of my VERY dear college friends, are first up on April 24th, Rob and Miranda, my cousin, are second on June 12th, and last but MOST DEFINITELY the exact opposite of least Abbie and Brandon, my best friend in the entire world and Miranda's older brother, my other cousin are getting married on August 28th! (yes, I had something to do with that ;)...check out "How We Met")
... I digress.
I really don't want to be the person that makes their days "BIG" if you know what I mean ;) 30-40lbs overweight is NOT OKAY anymore!! So here's the deal... I'm forming a campaign for myself: 60-days to a new YOU!! I know, I know the name lacks complete creativity, but I'd rather focus on the plan more than the name so suggestions are helpful! ;) Here's the plan: The overall goal is to feel better about myself and a main aspect of that is weight!! I intend to eat right (ALL THE TIME, not just when I feel like it.. NO CHEATING!!), drink lots of water, take a multivitamin daily, etc, etc. To keep myself motivated to put up good scores every week and in the spirit of "keeping it real" I started a Weight Loss Log to the left of this post under my Wish List. The first day I weigh in is Monday, January 25th. I am vowing to post that weight {cringe} and update it weekly with my new weight and how much I lost that week... it will also tell my next weigh in date. My biggest problem is I start out well and make excuses in the end. With other people knowing my goals I'm hoping it will keep me on top of it!! January 24th, the day before I start, is 90 days until Amanda and Kevin's wedding. I have to take my dress to be altered by the end of March, so wish me luck that they have to reconstruct the entire dress!! ;)

I took some "Before" pictures today, but I don't have the guts to put them up, so maybe they'll be on a "Before and After" at the end of the 60 days! ;)

Problem.

2010-01-20T16:14:00.003-06:00

Does something ever come out of your mouth and you think to yourself, 'I don't like the way that sounded' right after you say it? I've been doing that lately with one choice of words and I can't seem to stop myself no matter how many times I catch it and internally promise I'll never say it again. Its really starting to bug me and I just wondered if anyone else ever felt the same way?? I figured I'd try writing it down and maybe that will bring it into my conscious thought a little more.

My thing goes something like this:
Someone comes to me and asks me to do something for them...
I do that something for them and they say, "Thank you"...
Without hesitation I say, 'Not a problem!!'

You may be asking yourself what is the big damn deal? Why is THAT what bugs her about herself? Well, truthfully I don't know why that statement rings in my head every time I say it, but it does!! "Not a problem" is so negative... as if there is the possibility of whatever they're asking actually being a problem to me. Why can't I say, 'My pleasure'? SO much nicer!! I think that's what bugs me the most is I even KNOW the statement I'd rather say and I can't make my brain spit it out!! I try so hard to be optimistic in all areas of life and I want the world to know it... so... I'm gonna keep trying til I get it right!! ;)

As promised I am starting my Mardi Gras decorating... I had a meeting last night and I have another tonight, so I'm hoping to work on the wreath for my office door tomorrow evening!!! In the meantime, I do have something for you today. Yesterday I pulled out the purple, gold, and green glitter hat and fun beads I wore to Mardi Gras last year:and had them sitting on my desk:This morning I was walking past the gorgeous wrought iron candelabra that has been taking up real estate on my desk:since Halloween:...and I had a thought... Why not:

I'll find a better place for this to land and might spruce it up a bit more in a few days... it was seriously just a thrown together thing in a few seconds of brainstorming!! ;)
And P.S. it's always on 5:00 in my office! ;) (I unplugged the clock)

Boston and DIY

2010-01-19T15:34:00.018-06:00

Again, it's been FOREVER since I wrote a blog!! Sorry about that! The beginning of the year was crazy fun and I just haven't calmed down long enough to write something! Right after the first of the year Alabama played in the National Championship game (and won, thank you very much) and while all my friends went to Pasadena:

Jessie and Brett

...and some even went to Vegas AND THEN Pasadena:

Kat, Patrick and Megan

Megan and Kat

I decided I wanted to be different! ;) So... I watched the National Championship game in Boston with my friends Leah and Ian!! Here are a few pictures...

I had such a blast and can't wait to go back!!!! :)

A fairly well known fact among the friends of A Smile of a Thousand Secrets is that I love DIY and crafty stuff. I paint when I have time:

...and I absolutely love seeing something in a magazine and trying to figure out how I can make it my own!!
I found these pumpkins in Better Homes and Gardens Halloween edition and made them with a little paint and some scrapbooking embellishments and they made a PERFECT edition to my office Halloween Decor!! :)

All that being said, I'm going to try to start doing a few "How To" posts and maybe trying to link up to a few DIY blogs and see if I can't put some of these crazy ideas in my head down ~~on paper~~ on computer. ;) Stay tuned for a Mardi Gras Wreath coming sometime this week!!! ;)

Christmas.

2009-12-30T15:28:00.013-06:00

Christmas this year was probably one of the best Christmases I've had in a LONG time!! I usually HATE how commercialized Christmas has become and would rather just go to church with my family and forget the whole thing... but this year was SO different!! I don't know what it was about the year but everything went SO smoothly and we had SUCH a wonderful few days!!! Unfortunately I had to start my Christmas break on the 22nd with surgery!! That was not fun, but it was fairly routine and pain was manageable afterward. Christmas Eve lunch we spent at my grandmother's house with my dad's side of the family. We missed my cousin Leigh Ann and her family so much, but her husband Mike JUST got home from his deployment and we understood that this year was VERY important to them since it was Evan's (their son) first real Christmas with his dad!! On the upside, I actually really enjoyed my "alone time" with my other baby cousin, Dayton:
He is a precious angel and at this point in the afternoon we had eaten and it was time for a nap and he wanted to go home so I was trying to keep him occupied with a camera.

From this activity, I ended up with a lot of cute pictures of his hand covering the lens,a few pictures of mommy (my cousin Susie),some precious close-ups of him,and one or two crotch shots of his pants!! haha
But, he had a blast and it kept his mind off going home while the adults visited, so it was good! He is SUCH a sweet boy and I usually only see him when Evan's around and Evan is usually such a precious ham that he gets more attention so I liked being able to play with Dayton alone for a little while!! :)

When we got done with Christmas with the Harris clan, Mom, Dad, and I went to Christmas Eve Mass at our beautiful new church and it was absolutely amazing!! :)

My parents and I have a tradition of opening presents at their house after Mass on Christmas Eve and this year was no exception!! :) I did pretty well in presents this year! :) My parents are two of the most generous people I know and they continue to surprise me even after 26 years of life!! :) I have never once made a Christmas list and they always seem to get me things that surprise and excite me!! :)
I know if I die and go to heaven I won't be able to take everything with me, but my three big presents will DEFINITELY be in my heaven!! :) Two of them I found pictures on Google, but one I couldn't so you're getting a first hand picture of my GORGEOUS new wool coat they got me for my trip to Boston next week!! :)
I am in LOVE with this thing!! :) It has three black and gold buttons and has kind of a waffle-y feel to it!! It's very vintage and old looking and I LOVE IT!! :)
The next one I would have NEVER expected!!! I actually sat in the living room with my parents on Christmas Adam (what I call the night before Christmas Eve, Dec. 23rd) and played 20 questions because they KNEW I wouldn't guess. For your curiosity's sake I'll tell you my guess after 20 questions was an i-Pod! I WAS WRONG!! :) My parents aren't usually the type for expensive sunglasses, but I guess they wanted to surprise me this year and got me the Costa's I've been dreaming of!! So, I present to you my new babies, my Costa del Mar Cudjoe's!!
My last present that will go with me to heaven is my new boots from Blowfish!! Mom and dad came across these while they were Christmas shopping and KNEW I could no longer go on living without them.. and I never even saw them!! Truthfully I don't know how I've lived without them all these years!! They're SO comfortable and cute as all get out!! Mine are actually a lighter tan color, but other than that they look exactly like this picture. After I saw these I started looking at other Blowfish shoes... I will DEFINITELY be buying more!!
On Christmas day we packed up and drove down to Mobile to visit some of our close friends!! We stayed til Sunday and had a WONDERFUL time visiting with them and just relaxing a little bit with people we love!! It was so nice!

I hope you all had as fabulous a Christmas as I did! I leave for Boston in 1 WEEK!!! I'm so EXCITED!!! I've started warm clothes shopping and my new wool coat will serve me well!! ;)

Rejected!

2009-12-21T14:42:00.004-06:00

Whelp... mentioned new guy the other day and I realize a nickname has not been suggested, but at this point don't even bother. Things started on a fairly good note. I think the last blog on the points scale we were at 0. Well he asked me to have lunch with him on Saturday before work and I was super impressed that he ACTUALLY had a SUGGESTION!!! SHOCK! In my tenure at this dating thing I can't even fill up a hand with the number of guys I've been out with that didn't ask me on a date and then rely on me to decide what we're doing... uh, you planned the date bub... at LEAST come with a plan!!! So (+1) for new guy! ;) Then, he game me space!!! I am NOT a typical girl... I need some space, even if we're "dating". He hadn't called every day or bombarded me with a million texts, which I VERY much appreciate and was obliged to: (+1). Guy was up +2 going into lunch on Saturday!! Very nice considering most guys go in with about a -7 or so!! I was super excited.... BUT... HUUUUUGE but... my excitement was QUICKLY dashed as soon as I walked in the door. I might or might not have mentioned this was a blind date.. at least for him because I'm a champion facebooker and totally saw pictures of him before! :) Well, I open the door and say hi and the look on his face said it all: disappointment. AWESOME!! This is going to be a fun lunch. We sit, we eat, we talk... the conversation was actually really good. Liked new guy a lot! Would TOTALLY have gone out with him again, which is a RARE occurrence in A Smile of a Thousand Secrets' world. By the end of lunch I'm starting to think maybe I misunderstood the face... and then we get up from lunch and I hear: Well, It was nice to meet you! [Translation in guy terms: I am NEVER going to talk to you ever again!] I have had WAY too many guy friends in my lifetime to pretend I don't know what that means!! {Sidenote: Later that night while sublimating my annoyance with Chimay, I told my two best guy friends in the world and they both shook their heads knowingly. There was no: 'He didn't mean it that way!' or 'You're overreacting'... nope! They've done it, they know what's up.} So new guy and I say our goodbyes and I go home to change for work. (-1)

Fast forward to me working away, and: I get a text from my ex asking me to have a drink with him when he's in town in a few weeks. We are somewhat good friends now after a fairly long hiatus of contact after the breakup. He will always be one of the great loves of my life... it's something neither of us can deny. Time with him is always fun. I'm definitely looking forward to these drinks! :) So at this point in the day I've been rejected and retrieved all within about a 4 hour period. Rough on a girl. (+1)

Fast forward again to later as I'm sitting at drinks with my two best guy friends, and: my phone beeps again... a very recently reacquainted old friend (we'll call him Dub) that I hadn't talked to since the reacquaintance a few months earlier. This would not have raised my eyebrows as much if I hadn't been thinking about him ALL THROUGH LUNCH THE VERY SAME DAY!!!! New guy and Dub have the same hands and I actually had a fairly destracting monologue about the similarities going in my head while I was sitting there trying not to be inherently unattractive. We're talking the EXACT same hands!! It was an insanely interesting coincidence... so of course I went to hang with him. I had to see if there was anything to this coincidence... and Dub knows I'm fat and ugly, so the looks department were taken care of. We'll see what happens there... my guess: NOT A DAMN THING! But, damn that was strange!! :) (+1/2)??

So there's my Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Saturday... if I were keeping score on my dating life at this point it would be: 0 - 1 + 1 + 1/2 = 1/2... so I'm going to be half happy and like it!! :-/ At least for the time being!

George.

2009-12-16T15:10:00.003-06:00

Oh George. How preciously annoying can one person be?

First things first, a new guy has started calling. For most people this would be the moment that they get all happy and excited... for a smile of a thousand secrets this is the time to panic like you've never panicked before. New guy needs a nickname... any ideas?, please leave comments. For now, until we come up with something better, we'll call him Guy or Boy because that's what I've been calling him in real life. ;) Guy is interesting. Not really sure how I feel about it yet. I will give him that he's done what he says he's going to do so far as far as calling goes (+1). And, he seems to be cute (granted, I've only seen pictures from three years ago...)(+1) (I should mention here: blind date set up by my mom's coworker. yikes.) We seem to have different senses of humor (i.e. I have courtesy laughed more than once in our 3 phone conversations) (-1). And, he claims to be a writer yet used poor grammar in the one text he sent me (-1). So, I guess doing the math we're starting at 0... which isn't a bad place to start I suppose. We're supposed to meet for lunch on Saturday, so we'll see how things go...

In similar news, I can't stop comparing new guy to George. Truthfully he doesn't compare. I feel bad for the guy though because it would be hard to compete with anyone that someone has cared about for this long... it's really not fair of me at all, but I can't help myself. You know, if George would just wake up and smell the roses all would be right with the world. Hey... Alabama is playing the Rose Bowl... sign?? Probably not... that's a bit of a stretch but if Go West is the King, I'm definitely the Queen of Wishful Thinking!! ;)

In other (read: happier) news, I'm going to BOSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!! My friends Leah and Ian moved there a few months ago and since I can't go to Pasadena I thought, well... if I can't go ~~closer to the game~~ to VEGAS with our other friends, I'll go ~~farther away~~ watch the game with them!!! :) I'm super excited and they seem to be too!! It's gonna be some VERY much needed fun!! I missed seeing Leah when she was in town this past weekend, but this totally makes up for it!!! Such a great birthday present from Mom and Pop! (ps it was my Birthday yesterday!)

Church as a Verb.

2009-12-10T13:02:00.004-06:00

I have been delving more and more into my faith lately. Sometimes that's just what it takes to survive life and carry your crosses with a smile. I don't think I've ever mentioned it before but I am one of the youth ministers at my Catholic parish in my home town. Usually my blogs are written with a laugh and I jokingly tell you "what will be in my heaven"... but this one is completely serious. The humor will return soon... today is just about God and faith.

I was driving to pick up my friend Eric (I feel sure I've mentioned him before) from putting his car in the shop and I passed a billboard on the way. It said something about church in Tuscaloosa... didn't really pay enough attention to remember what it said verbatim. But the website mentioned at the bottom of the billboard is what caught my eye. Church as a verb.com I couldn't shake the feeling that something in me just didn't like that statement. At face value it seemed like an awesome idea for church to be something you live... to be an action... I get what they're trying for, but something in me was bothered by it. As I continued down McFarland Blvd. toward the car dealership I passed my parish church building and the beauty of what God's graces can accomplish made the reason it bothered me hit me like a ton of bricks. To me, the word Church isn't a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, or anything that can be found in a glossary of English grammar terms... it just IS. In John 14, Jesus says "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..." Here, Jesus tries to help us understand his full divinity as well as we understand his humanness by trying to convey the point that he just IS. Earlier in the Gospels we find in Matthew 16 that Jesus told Peter, "You are Peter and upon this rock I will build My Church and the gates of hell will not overpower it." Right then Jesus established His Church. Not A church that could form and dissolve as it so pleased by people that thought they could interpret His teachings better than the next guy, or A verb, but THE Church that He knew would survive through the ages. Unfortunately, now the word "Catholic" seems to be just another denomination of Christianity. In actuality "catholic" is just a term that means universal, a working title if you will... but its historical and actual title is The Church... it is the same Church all over the world. It is ONE church. Technically, in a list of churches in Tuscaloosa one should read: Calvary Baptist Church, First Presbyterian Church, The "Catholic" Church, etc etc. There is no difference between St. Francis Parish and Holy Spirit Parish... it is all the same... with all the same "members". Yes, we have our home parishes that we attend regularly based solely on where we live, not what teachings or teaching styles strike our fancy. The same things that are being said and read in Tuscaloosa, Alabama are the same EXACT things being said and read in Vatican City by the Pope... the direct descendant of Peter, the first Pope. Has The Church ever crumbled because someone didn't like it?... no. They left, The Church kept going. The Church can never be a verb. The Church just IS... as Jesus established it.

Little bit of a tangent. Sorry about that!! Of course, being the naturally curious person I am and wanting to be open to all people and their beliefs... and in the spirit of being nonjudgmental, I thought I'd at least visit the site. Unfortunately, they lost me in the first line of their About Us section: A NEW CHURCH IS BEING BIRTHED. Really? Pretty sure Jesus already took care of that for us. I don't mean to be rude and I am really saying this curiously, not viciously, but what exactly makes you think He didn't get it right? I will be praying for this new church. I pray they continue with the best of intentions. I pray that they look to Him first for everything. I pray that they have serenity and that through their worship they come to know Him fully. I pray that the disagreements and animosity that had to have been present that got them to the point of building a new church would be calmed and that the power of the Holy Spirit would bring them closer to the Truth. I know God is there as they worship together... Matthew 18:20 tells us: "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." But, for some reason... I write this blog with a heavy heart.

Lunatic.

2009-11-30T15:18:00.009-06:00

Whew. Okay... things in my life at the current moment that won't be in my heaven.
1) Abscesses in general... more specifically.
2) Doing the jobs of two people while getting paid a portion of the salary you deserve to do one of those two jobs.
3) Having to work three jobs total to make up for the lack of salary in Job #1.
4) Doctors that don't fill out paperwork completely. Even though you specify that the paper needs to be filled out in it's entirety.
5) Doctors that don't call you back when you want to bitch them out for not filling out paperwork properly.
6) Surgery.
7) Cold and Flu season.
8) Offices that won't turn on the damn heat!!

Yep... all of that.

Happy Thanksgiving by the way! ;) Hahaha... if this post isn't the opposite of everything Thanksgiving is about I don't know what is. Sorry about that. Usually it would be at this point I'd say something perky and smiley and say everything's fine. But, I just don't have it in me lately. Thankfully I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Went to my friend Jonathan's house and had Thanksgiving dinner with him and 14 family members! Let me tell you the Harder clan does it up RIGHT for this holiday. 5 Turkeys (2 fried, 2 smoked, 1 baked with stuffing), and what felt like 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree's worth of fixin's later I had to drive my Tryptophan ass back to Tuscaloosa in the dark! It was nice and honestly made me wish for a set of in-laws just like that one day. Nice, Fun, Catholic, and actually like me... which are all traits I've only experienced one other time in my dating career and I was 14. Whoever Harder marries is a lucky girl!

In other news, I found some good lyrics for "George". Too bad a) I'm no Billy Joel and b) I would never have the nerve to sing this anyway... but here are a few favorite lines:
Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy then it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

After a discussion I had with him the other day, this song fits perfectly.

The Bride Quartet.

2009-11-04T12:56:00.004-06:00

Nora Roberts has a new series of books out!!!

The first of which was released last year...
...and the second on October 27th!!

I went THAT DAY and got the second book for myself and my mom! I really don't feel like going into the overview of the books, but take my word for it... the first one was AWESOME and the second is looking up!
The other night I made up my mind I was going to go home, get comfy, snuggle up with my dog, watch some television and delve into Bed of Roses, the second book. I have been really sad lately and quite frankly a little weepy about the whole "George" thing. I'm not one to air my dirty laundry to friends so if I had to guess I'd say most of them probably don't realize this is killing me inside... they know I just complain about it sometimes and belly ache a little. But, let me be the first to tell you it is probably the hardest thing I've ever done being in love with someone who a) I'm fairly close to and b) has NO clue!! Keeping something like that a secret for a couple of years now is getting pretty um... tiring. And for me tired = sad and weepy. Thank God for amazing friends that know how to keep their mouth shut!! :) I love you all!

Moving on.

I was talking to my friend Jessie about my evening plans and was casually belly aching about "George" a little and told her I was planning on this romantic, sappy book depressing me further. Worked like a charm. Love the book, hate the book, can't wait for the next one, want it to be thrown into a burning woodpile, Nora Roberts is a literary genius and a raging heartless sadist bitch all at one time. I have mixed emotions about this book, clearly, but if I were going to be honest... It'll be in my heaven!! ;)

In the meantime I'll keep praying that by some miracle "George" will come to his senses and see what I've seen for quite some time, or that the secret through no fault of my own will be revealed to and welcomed by him.

For now, I'll leave you with the line in the book that made me fall in hateful love with this book: "...she looked over her shoulder. Her smile was full of secrets."
BAH!! ;)

Secrets.

2009-11-02T15:04:00.003-06:00

I have a confession. The reason I haven't been posting lately is because I have a secret and the only way I can continue to post is by spilling because this is a fairly regular topic around here! ;) Here goes... I still have a thing for "George". Okay... it's out now and I feel better! Maybe now I can continue on without feeling like a big ole fraud. But don't worry... there are still a thousand secrets hidden... ;)

Odd Interests.

2009-10-21T10:56:00.012-05:00

So, wow. It's been a WHILE since I posted!! Sorry about that. I guess the time just gets away from you sometimes and you realize it's been 3 weeks since your last post! My bad!

Anyway.

The end of this week looks to be a pretty busy one for me. I have a few nondisclosure items that I am not at liberty to discuss at this time, but as far as the other fun things going on... I'm totally spilling!! I started kind of looking at them ~~on paper~~ in my planner yesterday and I realized I have some VERY odd interests!!! Don't believe me? Want me to prove it? Okay. Here is what my calendar looks like for the next few days:
Thursday, October 22, 2009:
7:00 pm - Book signing for my friend Chris @ Innisfree Irish Pub.
9:00 pm - Lisa Gibbon's Breast Cancer Benefit put on by the Pink Box Burlesque @ Little Willie's.

Friday, October 23, 2009:
9:00 pm - Unknown Hinson concert @ Mellow Mushroom.

Put to words this doesn't sound weird... but here are a few pictures...

Yes, this is a burlesque show.

Yes, he is a vampire Elvis.

Yes, being friends with him is just as weird as the first two interests! ;)

The knowledge that I have some weird interests is nothing new to me... I tend to not care what other people think as far as my interests are concerned, which was made blatantly obvious in August when my friend Leah and I threw a Shark Week party complete with red velvet cake, other themed food, and a 6 foot blow-up shark we named Bruce to kick off a week of not caring that people were making fun of us for loving Shark Week! ;)

So, if you're a weirdo like me and adore things most people don't think twice about... you'll be in my heaven along with all our idiosyncratic excitement!! ;)

In other news, "Mark" continues to peak my interest, but I'm beginning to realize he has quite a bit more baggage than originally suspected. Granted, everyone comes with baggage, but something tells me my roll in helping him cope with said baggage is going to get a little too deep for me to forget. We shall see. "George" is still around... he kind of has to be, but he's slowly making his way to the friend category where he belongs however I still find myself with that twinge of interest every once in a while. Stupid twinges. There really isn't much going on in this area... been hanging out with Lonely Hearts Drinking Club (consisting of myself and two of the single guys in my circle of friends.. we are accepting new members if interested ;)) a lot lately and that seems to be sufficient until Mr. TBD [to be determined] (a nickname Leah and I recently coined) comes along.
Until then... Here's to the meantime!! ;)

Ani DiFranco.

2009-09-30T09:37:00.004-05:00

In recent months I have tried widening my musical horizons and after coming across a quote from one of Ani DiFranco's songs I began checking out her lyrics and incredible style. A few weeks ago I bought her album titled Not a Pretty Girl and can't stop listening to it. The song who's lyrics are featured below is probably my favorite song from the album, but when I'm in an Ani mood, more likely than not any of the songs from this album might end up on my facebook status because her songs just seem to fit sometimes. It is pretty well known that I usually have a song playing in my head for any of life's situations, so oftentimes when I'm sitting with friends, I might burst into song. At the very least, the lyrics will be flashing in my head.
Lately there has been an ever so slight twinge of interest toward an acquaintance... err, you could probably go ahead and call him a friend at this point, but anyway. To keep the Grey's Anatomy theme of the males in this blog, we'll call him "Mark" seeing as how that's how Lexie got over George. ;) Anyway, about the time "Mark" entered the scene I got this CD and "Asking Too Much", because it pretty much says what every (note the quotations) "intimidating girl" is looking for, became almost a checklist for me... I mean, she nailed it! There are only a couple of "bullet points," if you will, that I'm not real keen on... but those, if you know me, can be overlooked and if you don't know me, keep in mind I'm a pretty devout Catholic and take a wild guess... you're probably right. ;) There are also a few bullet points I'd add, but that's not pertinent information.

Bold print is what he's nailed so far...

"Asking Too Much"

I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind {I pondered this line for a while trying to understand the depths of it's meaning and I didn't completely get it until I met someone that does this... "Mark" was that someone.}
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery
or maybe just put it all to words
and make me go, you know
I never heard it put that way
make me go, what did you just say?
I want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it fall
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
if you hear me talking
listen to what I'm not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what I'm not playing
and don't ask me to put words
to all the silences I wrote
don't ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you'll regret it
I'm tired of being the interesting one
I'm tired of having fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and I might just lay myself down by you
but don't sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me
scream until it's funny
give me a run for my money
I want somebody who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything
what have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words I want someone
who's not afraid of their self...
Do you think I'm asking too much?

Not too shabby at all, huh?

Read as a poem this is gorgeous, but put to music it's genius. I wish so much this song was on youtube so I could reference it, but the best I can do is a song from the next album I intend to buy from her called Little Plastic Castle, a song by the same name. Just so you get a feel for her style.

Anyway, you can probably expect quite a few more blogs mentioning "Mark"... I kinda hope it moves forward instead of getting stuck in the friendship category as usual... we'll see! ;)

Dreams and XM radio.

2009-09-29T09:21:00.006-05:00

Have you ever had a dream so vivid you swear it's real? That during the dream you consciously think, "I would be so sad if this was a dream"... ... ... and then you wake up. I had one of those last night and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that feeling is just one of the worse things ever as far as day to day annoyances go.
Usually if I'm having a good dream and wake up, it's fairly simple to just accept the fact that it wasn't real and an "Awww MAN!" will usually suffice. But I can think of at least two mornings that I woke up from a dream and literally wanted to cry. This morning was one of those two and the other will forever be ingrained in my memory as well because when I'm telling you they were real... my subconscious mind really felt the feelings. Worst thing ever. Not in my heaven!!

...on to happier news ;)

Last night after a fabulous meal of Pizza Rotti and Portabella Mushroom Ravioli at DePalma's (a local Italian restaurant) with friends and after dinner drinks at Alcove (a new pub downtown)I was driving home with my windows down and the radio up enjoying the wonderful fall weather that has befallen my lovely town. Most of the time I have XM radio tuned to 90s on 9. As a child of the 80s and 90s, there is just something comfortable about listening to music made famous during your childhood. And last night was no different. Most of the time XM radio plays a wide range of songs and it isn't very often you hear the same song twice within a two day period. But, as I was headed home last night a song came on that anytime I hear it, I have to dance and laugh out loud at... that song is this. I love it AND it's lack of depth. :) It's simple, it's straight to the point, there isn't any fluff... she just repeats the same thing over and over again and does it to a catchy beat. I'm sorry, I don't care if you like the song or not... you can't help but bob along to the beat. Anyway, of course when I got out of the car last night I didn't bother changing the station over to my morning show station, so when I got in the car this morning, 90s on 9 was full blast... and what song do you think was playing?... Yep... you guessed it. :) So I sang all the way to work! :) If you're looking for Bizarre, Inc... they'll be in my heaven! ;)

Karaoke.

2009-09-28T11:32:00.002-05:00

Noooot the biggest fan of getting up in front of a group of people in a restaurant or bar to sing. That just doesn't sound like a good time in my book. I know when I'm around these amateur, sometimes good, usually excruciatingly bad singers the eyes and ears of judgment abound. So, I steer clear of the certain embarrassment that would come from my sorry attempt at singing in public... I can embarrass myself just fine without the help of a microphone.

However...

Last night, after a solid afternoon of good friends, good food, and a case of VERY good wine the idea of singing karaoke in the privacy of someone's home sounded like the best idea we'd ever heard... and boy howdy did we sing!! The songs ranged from Patsy Cline's, "Crazy" to Sir Mix-a-lot's, "Baby Got Back" with a little "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" thrown in for good measure... it was a mixed crowd. ;) There were sing-alongs like "Under the Sea," duets like "Summer Lovin'" that quickly turned into sing-alongs, and I even rapped a few Eminem songs. Stop laughing. I really can. ;) Honestly I needed something fun like that to take my mind off "George"... don't know how well it worked... I wished he was there with me the entire time, but I think that will fade with time! I'm trying really hard.

On that note I found a good quote from one of my favorite books:
"No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing."
~He's Just Not That Into You

In other, sadder news: My friend Leah is leaving Friday to move to Boston. Boston is so lucky. Tuscaloosa, not so much. :(

Ruined Television.

2009-09-25T12:55:00.006-05:00

Last night was the premiere of Grey's Anatomy on ABC. One of my friends DVR'd it for me because the last softball game of our regular season was last night as well (we won, by the way... undefeated in regular season play, thank you very much ;))
anyway...and because she loves me so much she didn't watch it herself so I wouldn't have to watch alone! (such a good friend!)
So I get all the way through my softball game and a conversation with my parents, who watched it and said it was AMAZING, without finding out anything. I figured because I got that far I was safe, seeing as how none of my co-workers watch the show. Oh noooo... The second I walk in the door at work, the first person I see, puts his hands on his cheeks (Macaulay Culkin style) and says "Huuuuh, George died!!" I slowly turned (I had walked past him at this point) and gave him a "you suck" stare while casually mentioning that I hadn't seen the show. I figured that was going to be the shocker of the season premiere, so I wasn't too surprised.. but I think my co-worker felt bad anyway! ;)
All morning I've been pondering this turn of events in my favorite show and the obvious coincidence that lies in the fact that I have recently taken to calling "George", George, after the character. George died... There is really only so much sadness you can have about it, because he is just a character. But, maybe it's a sign... maybe the "character" should get killed off in MY "show". Maybe "George" should go back to being {insert person's real name here}, playing the role of just my friend instead of being "George," my 2 year, "interest" that I very unhealthily am never able to muster up enough courage to actually tell and pretend to only want a friendship with.
That is going to be so hard. Two years is a VERY long time to care this much about someone, but enough is enough. There is only so much time you can waste waiting to be the exception to the He's Just Not That Into You rules before you realize he really only sees you in the friendship light and he isn't going to jump out of the bath tub one day and go running down the street naked screaming 'Eureka!' Oh how I wish he would though... not the naked part... unless of course I'm around ;) but the Eureka part. Everyone else sees it. Oh well... no one can ever say I don't have stay power. ;)
Point of this long drawn out blog: Ruined television premieres will not be in my heaven and apparently neither will "George"... but hopefully {insert person's real name here} will be... even if he's just a friend.

In other news, my hair smells like BBQ. So, at least the day isn't all bad. ;)

Sadie Hawkins.

2009-09-24T10:34:00.005-05:00

My task for today at work is rather mindless, which honestly I don't mind much because sometimes it's nice to just let your thoughts wander. And wander they have!!

Of course my mind's ramblings usually start with "George." He hasn't seemed really happy lately, but after a conversation with a couple of my friends last night I realized "the unhappies" might just be going around because we were all three talking about being in a funk lately. And conversations with quite a few other friends have yielded the same conclusion. Anyway... when I start thinking about unhappiness my mind automatically goes to how I can conjure up some laughter because as any of you who have seen my license plate know, I'm a fan of laughter and I know it will change a bad mood instantly... thank you endorphins.

I found a solution to all of our "unhappy" problems. I would love to tell you what that solution is, but say I DO grow the balls enough to ask George to go (never gonna happen), and he happened to read this blog (highly unlikely), then I'd totally be tipping my hand. But, just so you know, there are some really great date ideas out there in the world... but it takes a little effort, which... honey, if I could find someone that put in some effort I would not be sitting here writing this right now... this I promise you.

So, my mind continued it's trek and in my brain's stumbling through my thoughts it came across a sign titled Sadie Hawkins... and down that path it went. Most people don't know the little history behind Sadie Hawkins Day, so I'm going to tell it now. Sadie Hawkins is a character in the old Li'l Abner comic strip. You can read the comic I'm referring to for yourself because I've included it in this blog, but because of this cartoon, schools and such started having Sadie Hawkins dances in which the girls asked the guys to the dance and traditionally it's celebrated around the middle of November. I've known this little fun fact for quite some time and always found the humor in it, but reading the comic strip again I thought, you know... maybe that's not such a bad idea ;) ... shit. I'm Sadie f-ing Hawkins.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

2009-09-21T14:47:00.004-05:00

I just finished the most amazing book. Honestly I am surprised I loved it as much as I did… it uses a lot of controversial subjects and takes opposing beliefs from my own on about 99% of the issues it covers, but I couldn’t put it down!! To the people who think their beliefs are the only possible beliefs: do NOT read this book, you’re wasting your time! It was meant to be controversial, it was meant to make you think outside your belief system, it was meant to make you uncomfortable at times… Stephen Chbosky put some serious effort into the format he used, the characters he chose, and how each person place and thing in the story has meaning. Fantastic author! I’m still not completely sure what was going on with the main character and if you have read the book, you know what I mean and I’d love to hear what you think!! There would be a lot of people surprised that I liked this book… of course there are a lot of people that think they know me, who don’t… but anyway. I highly recommend The Perks of Being a Wallflower… just, get ready before you read it. ;)

In other news, “George” remains oblivious.

Grey's Anatomy.

2009-09-17T08:49:00.003-05:00

The 5th Season of Grey's Anatomy came out Tuesday and I got Disc 1 in the mail yesterday!! I am so excited to get caught up on this season because I missed a lot and Season 6 starts next week!! :) Anyway, so I'm watching the first four episodes of the season and it hits me like a ton of bricks...

I'm Lexie Grey in his George O'Malley world.

Juno.

2009-09-15T16:18:00.008-05:00

Here was my game plan Sunday:
1) Get up ~~WAY TOO early to have been out til 1:00 Saturday night~~ at 6:00 to do Meals on Wheels (highly recommend this one... it's so worth it, tired or not!)
2) Eat Breakfast with Dani.
3) Go home and clean the kitchen.
4) Go to 11:00 mass.
5) Come home, turn on the TV, find a good movie and ~~watch~~ sleep through it, curled up with Ying Yang (my dog)

I was so proud of all I had accomplished before noon and knew I deserved some R&R. Except... apparently the squirrel/ wind/ whatever it was that messed up our dish was having none of it. I turned on the television to find the message all dish owners loathe:

No signal found. Acquiring signal... ... ... ...

shit.

I have no freaking clue how to fix this damn tv so... Plan B!! ...and off I go to figure out what movies I have around the house that I would want to half watch half sleep through. I found two: The Color Purple which started my downward spiral to completely nullifying the nap idea because I hadn't seen it in so long I had forgotten the plot line and was completely enthralled ...and Juno. I'm fairly sure I watched it somewhere close to 16 times when I first bought it because it's such a great movie. I had conveniently forgotten my love for this movie and once again my nap plan was foiled. SHIT!!! The dry humor in this movie is pure genius... some lines are just plain funny... others are PERFECT for life's little gems.

Here are some of my favorites:

Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad?
Mac MacGuff: What?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um...
Mac MacGuff: *Or*...?
Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!

Juno MacGuff: I'm just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know...
[brief pause]
Juno MacGuff: ...infants.

Juno MacGuff: Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stink eye in art class yesterday.
Paulie Bleeker: Katrina's not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stink eye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face.

Best line in the whole movie:
Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Needless to say I did not take a nap Sunday night, but I did however watch two awesome movies... so I consider it a good day and because of that pretty much the entire cast of Juno will be in my heaven... along with Patrick Swayze. RIP, Buddy!

Softball and the Swine Flu!

2009-09-01T14:28:00.007-05:00

So today begins the Fall league of co-ed softball for our local Park and Recreation Authority. Spring season, I spent a lot of time at the ball park watching my friends Kevin and Eric play (on different teams) and it got me itching to play again. Now, I should mention here that I haven't played softball since I played one year of intramurals for my church and before that it was junior high church league, but when I did play I wasn't too shabby. In my itching, I happened to ask Eric if his team, sponsored by a local pub, might need any more girls to play. He said they always needed reliable girls and he would definitely let me know when the Fall season started. Well, he told me today that they have their first game tonight and I thanked him for the ample notice and said I'd try to come to Thursday's game if they still needed people because I already had plans this evening.
Fast foraward to now... As I sit here finishing out my day... My thoughts on this matter are hovering around: what the hell were you THINKING telling him you would play SOFTBALL!!!!? You're COMPLETELY out of shape, you don't know ANYONE but him, do you really want to embarrass yourself in front of these people, when is the last time you even donned a softball glove?!?!...idiot.
I can't say I blame myself for the lack of confidence... I mean, it has been a while, but it got me thinking. Why do I care so much about what other people are going to think of me? Where did that change in my life? I started playing softball for my church when I was 6 years old and although I'd never played a day in my life, I went out there and sucked it up happily without a care in the world. When did I start getting embarrassed about my inability to do something or my rustiness in an area in life? Never mind the fact that in the meantime, since my tenure playing softball every summer, I have earned a high school diploma, a college degree, and before I even finished college I had a great job with the State of Alabama. Never mind that at all... nope, I'm worried about embarrassing myself in front of people I don't know with my stupid softball skills. Embarrassment and second guessing... you stink... you are dead to my heaven!!

In other news, Swine flu has reared it's ugly head in the hallows of my beloved Oil and Gas Board halls. We are all bathing in hand sanitizer... it's smells like the inside of an alcohol bottle around here and every person in the building has gotten psychologically sicker as the day goes on. I'm weary of anyone that steps in my doorway and there is a piece of paper that will now become a fundamental part of my desk because the infected girl in our office set it on my desk two days ago and I'm scared to touch it!! I am brutally aware of every sniff, cough, sneeze,etc. that I hear down the hall and I wonder every time if that's the one that's gonna get me... is that the one that's going to keep me from watching Alabama Football in Birmingham with my cousin and best friend this weekend??!!? I swear if I get sick I'm going to pitch a fit!! So, swine flu (or any sickness for that matter), you can grab onto the coattails of embarrassment and second guessing and ride them on out of my heaven, because you're not welcome either!!

Colbie Caillat and Carolyn Dawn Johnson

2009-08-26T13:31:00.009-05:00

Yep, they can come too... It'll be Dave, Blind Melon, Colbie, and Carolyn if you're coming to my nightly concert in heaven. I don't know about you, but music is what gets me through the hard times in life. If I can find a song that makes me feel like someone's felt that way before, I feel like I can get through it too. Now, I realize there probably isn't anything in my life that I could possibly go through that someone hasn't experienced the same or worse... I'm not that vain, but it's still nice to know if they survived... then so can I!! Life has been pretty bummer the past week or so... guess we're going on about two at this point, but I digress.
Here are the songs that keep me afloat from these four awesome groups/singers: Dave, Blind Melon (I know I mentioned this one in a previous blog, but it's worth it), Colbie, and Carolyn. I applaud you folks!! :)

Oh, and while I'm at it... bringing people in my heaven, Mariska Hargitay can come too! She's the woman detective on Law&Order: SVU! She has good hair... This is how my hair will look in heaven... :)

Hooligans' Mint Tea!

2009-08-24T12:52:00.004-05:00

My usual lunch partner, Eric, and I find ourselves more often than not getting stuck in a lunch rut. We have about 6 different places we eat (Roly Poly, "Boomhowers", Qdoba, somewhere Mex-American, Momma Goldbergs, Oasis, etc.) regularly. We always talk about going somewhere different but when push comes to shove, we never actually do it because neither of us can think of anywhere besides our 6 favorites. Today, we had a breakthrough in our quest to break our lunching pattern and went to Hooligans in what has been coined by Well That's Cool as "Midtown" right next to the new Innisfree. After ordering your food they hand you a cup as many places do, and you go get your drink. As I do most places I get the Sweet Tea there, but Hooligans' Sweet Tea is different. They add an ever so slight hint of Mint to their tea that makes it damn near heavenly, if you're a fan of mint. I highly recommend at least trying it once... you can always pour it out if you don't like it, but if that be the case, we can no longer be friends, so choose wisely. Anyway, as I pound away at the rest of my day at work, sipping the nectar of the gods, (close enough, gods-> greek mythology-> greece-> mediterranean sea-> mediterranean cuisine, it works) I realized that although it may seem sacrilegious to speak of mythology and heaven in the same breath, God will be okay with Hooligans' Mint Tea being in my heaven. ;)

Blind Melon!

2009-08-21T13:52:00.004-05:00

So I've been listening to a lot of Blind Melon lately. Now, some of you may know the band and some of you may not... This band was kind of a one hit wonder in the 90s that brought us: No Rain. It's sad that their music didn't make it... I personally think they should have had quite a few more hits... like "Walk"... there are some great lines in this song... and actually one that might make it the official theme song of this blog. "Find myself singing the same songs everyday...ones that make me feel good when things behind the smiles ain't okay" A smile of a thousand secrets?? Sounds like a winner to me... so, first things first... In my heaven, Blind Melon will be in concert (with Dave Matthews Band, of course) every night. ;) This week, on the stink scale has been somewhere in the billions... I think it's been that way for everyone though... so because misery loves company, I think we'll all survive... but the end of "Walk" kind of sums it up... "the blows they have just a little more space in-between them... gonna take a breath and try again!"

Eschericia coli

2009-06-22T13:08:00.010-05:00

Take one semester of Microbiology at a university and you will more than likely know more than you ever wanted to know about Eschericia coli (E. coli)... and if you're lucky, more specifically the O157:H7 strain which causes symptoms that range from diarrhea to death. This particular strain has gotten the worst rap recently as it has been linked to contaminated tomatoes and spinich. When the news came out about the major recalls and contaminations I felt that I had a fairly solid grip on the difference between the bad strains and good strains of E. coli and how they played their separate parts in the world. I didn't hold it against this often misunderstood, fairly harmless bacterium when certain strains of it went bad because of all the good it does in our bodies.

But then... things got out of hand!!! O157:H7 ruined my respect for all of E. coli kind!! Weekend before last one of my friends had a cookout at his house. I love to bake but was already making my ever popular buffalo chicken dip and didn't feel like making cookies from scratch. So, like so many of us often do I went to the store and grabbed a couple of packages of the Break and Bake Nestle Toll House Ultimates Cookies... (p.s. I think this is the best invention ever!) Of course they come a dozen to the pack and thanks to the fact that raw cookie dough is probably my #1 guilty pleasure, my friends got about 18 cookies!! ;) Six wonderful, uncooked squares of delicious Turtle cookie dough (chocolate and pecans with a caramel center) all to myself. Lucky for me said cookie dough was gone within 48-hours of my "saving them for later" but imagine my surprise when Friday I see this... www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=7879705&page=1 ... exactly 4 days after I finish the last of my 6 glorious squares. The good news is I haven't died yet nor have I had diarrhea!! The bad news is I am now craving cookie dough like crazy! I haven't decided if it's because I can't have it or if my initial cookie dough craving blossomed into an all out cookie dough kick. This could be bad.

So, E. coli... you used to be alright in my book, but now you can thank O157:H7's infection of cookie dough for getting you kicked out of my heaven!

Pineapple Orange Sherbet!!

2009-06-21T21:11:00.005-05:00

Right now in Alabama it is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! The past few days when I get in the car the temperature gauge is somewhere in the 100s. Not fun. Depending on where you live in the country you could read this and say, "huh! That's nothing, pansy!!" But, here's the rest of the story... along with the heat Alabama has something more to offer... humidity. This makes the heat feel somewhere close to the temperature of hell. Well, my family and I have a solution for this problem. The best homemade sherbet in the entire universe and I will share the easy recipe with you now. All you need to do is combine 1 can of sweetened condensed milk and 1 can of crushed pineapple in heavy syrup. Mix these together and put them in an ice cream maker and fill to the line with Orange soda. I mean, really? Who doesn't?? Anyway...Stir together and follow ice cream maker instructions on making ice cream. I do I do I do oooooooo LOVE summer if only for homemade sherbet ice cream. If you ever try this recipe I can promise you one thing if nothing else... you will be freezing cold when you're done. :) As I sit here under a sherbet induced fleece blanket while the rest of Alabama swelters outside, I realize... Homemade Pineapple Orange Sherbet WILL be in my heaven!!

Decorating a cake.

2009-06-19T14:01:00.003-05:00

I've been told I'm a pretty good baker. I think I have good days and bad, but I'm never scared to try a recipe and if you ever have a baking question I might be able to answer it. Trial and error plays a big part in that knowledge. A friend of mine had a birthday last week and I baked him a birthday cake. I didn't really feel like doing the whole cake from scratch so I implored the help of my friend Betty Crocker to supply the cake batter and only the icing was homemade. I thought it would be nice to decorate the cake with a few words... really simple: Happy Birthday {friend's name}! So while in the cake aisle, sorting things out with Betty, I picked up a tube of Cake Mate White Gel Icing. As I began writing "Happy"... not so happily, I realize clear gel nastiness had filtered to the top of the tube and the icing was coming out a mixture of white and clear = not ideal. I cleaned the cake up (ish) and got a paper towel to sort out my dilemma. I got it figured out and decorated the cake, albeit not gorgeous, it looked slightly edible. Fast forward to the next morning when I get the cake to work and take the top off the cake pan to realize overnight the gel had melted slightly (although the cake and icing were cool when I decorated so I'm not sure what that was about) into the same clear nastiness I battled to alleviate the night before. Cuss. Cake still got eaten, so there's a plus. But, Cake Mate Gel Icing will definitely not be in my heaven.

Birth of a Blog.

2009-06-19T13:27:00.004-05:00

A couple of my friends have blogs that I thoroughly enjoy reading devoted mostly to their opinions on situations and goods. One gives his "Seal of Approval" and another is willing to "have sex" with the things that strike her fancy and I have always been jealous that they had cute witty saying to end their posts and I thought as soon as I could think of one, I'd probably create my own opinion blog. Scrolling through statuses (ps I think that's a stupid word... I think it should be stati) on facebook I started to realize I might have come across my own. So here is my best shot at an opinion blog...